Cat Conversations

This is something I wrote when I was trying to write something else. I was trying to come up with a better piece of drama for my writing class than I had initially written (which didn't pan out, apparently, I'm out of ideas when it comes to play-writing). But anyway, I still think it's a cute little piece of dialogue, which is why I'm posting it. It's not really going to go anywhere; it's just an amusing snippet. It's about a lost girl, who happens to start talking to a cat. Let's call the girl Anna. The cat doesn't have a name, so you can call him whatever you want. He's a black cat, by the way, if that stirs your imagination any.

C: Girl, why are you crying?

A: Who said that?

C: I did.

(cat slinks out of shadows)

A (looking around): Where are you?

C: Down here! Rowr!

(cat swipes at her leg, leaving a long shallow scratch down her calf)

A: Ouch! Stupid cat!

C: I am not stupid. I was merely attempting to get your attention.

A: Well, then, I’m sorry?

C: That’s better.

A: But it still hurts!

C: But you’ve stopped crying.

A: Yes, I have.

(wipes nose with back of hand)

C: Why were you crying?

A: Because I don’t know where I am, and I’ve lost my map.

C: And crying helps you find a map?

A (vehemently): No.

C: Well then, I can see you were working really hard to solve your problem. If you can even call it a problem.

A: Of course it’s a problem. Why, isn’t being completely and utterly lost a problem for you?

C: Being lost is an issue of …. perspective.

A (sarcastically): Yeah, how’s that?

C: You’re only lost if you’re not where you want to be.

A: But I’m not where I want to be.

C: Oh, well, then you are lost.

(pause)

Are you very far from where you want to be?

A: If I knew how far I was from where I’m supposed to be, then I would know where I am, and I wouldn’t be lost.

C: You mean you don’t know where you are?

A: Of course I don’t know where I am. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time.

C: I can help you with that.

A: You can?

C (licking a paw): Of course I can. That's easy.

A: Where am I?

C: You’re sitting on a curb, on the side of the street.

A: That wasn’t any help at all.

C: Wasn’t it?

(pause)

Do you mean I’m wrong? Because, if I am wrong, then I’m very lost indeed, and then we’re both in trouble.

A: No, you’re not wrong. It’s just that I know I’m in the middle of a street. That’s not the problem. The problem is, how do I get from this street to the street where I live?

C: That seems like such a bother. Why don’t you just live on this street? Then you can stay here and pet me.

A (sarcastically): That’s a very kind offer, but I think I’ll find my own way home anyway.

(Begins stroking the cat’s fur absentmindedly, cat begins purring)

C (still purring): Oh, keep doing that. It feels sooo nice. I don’t see why you’d want to go away to some dreary old street far away when you could stay here and pet me forever.

A: It’s my home, with all my things. My books and shoes and clothes.

C: What do you need clothes for when you’ve got fur?

A: I need clothes because I haven’t got fur.

C: Oh, well, that’s different.

A (scratching him between the ears, and purring intensifies): Maybe you could come home with me.

C: That doesn’t seem likely. You don’t even know where it is.

A: I’ll get there anyway. It’ll just take a little longer. Would you like to come with me?

C: What’s your home like?

A: It’s warm and bright, and I always have milk in the fridge.

C: That’s good enough for me.

(hops into her arms)

A cuddles him for a second, primarily to get a better grip on him, and then walks off down the street.